Why is it that people like to push themselves to the breaking point? What is it about seeing how far you can go? Why do we climb mountains, run marathons, have to see what's out there?
I have a fascination with how far the human body can be pushed. I like watching gymnastics just because it amazes me every time to see a human spring themselves into a triple flip.
I love free falling. Flying through the air. I throw myself around on the trampoline for the rush. I love jumping. Clearing a certain obstacle is a high. I was the little kid that fell off of chairs and laughed. I remember wishing I could fall and know I wouldn't get hurt.
I have a big map of the world hanging on my living room wall. I like maps I think they look cool. They're inspirational. Like a big window to adventure, that's stuck shut, but still lets you dream. But at the same time they're discouraging. How do so many things manage to be both? To look at it, the world is so big. Yes, o.k. It does seem small sometimes. But I'll never be able to fit as much of it in as I want. Or maybe life is too short.
Why do we always want to go farther? What do we hate so much about failure? Do we want to prove to ourselves that we can conquer?
How come we like the feeling of adrenaline? We arrange for artificial hits. Rollar coasters and such. And if our brushes near the edge are still contained we go out looking for more.
Or is it just me?
Do the mellowest of us have deep streaks that want to see more? That are beaten down by their common sense? Do the armchair athletes keep watching because it's the closest they can get to the glory and the thrill of a win? Is there no such thing as not being competitive? Or does everyone have a hidden side that wants to win. That longs to be the best?
Do we all daydream? Does everyone have some that are based on the human quest for glory, greatness, thrill? The unknown, the edge, the adventure? Pushing themselves to where they've never gone before?
It takes all kinds to make a world. It's the Mother's that raise the daredevils, the scientists, the athletes. It's the faithful labourers that make life possible for us by living their lives for themselves. The farmers that live the simple, good, and fulfilling life. And I say, good for them.
But, I only ask this. Do we all want to push out somewhere, somehow?

I love it when I can list good things about my life.
1. I spent all day shopping and buying stuff. And not in my hometown.
2. Meg is home for four days.
3. Summer is beginning.
4. I have a four day weekend coming up.
5. There are two cool things I can do tomorrow evening.
6. I have two new cool tapes that I got for 25 cents each.
7. I spent yesterday hanging out and talking with friends I don't see enough off.
8. My future is undecided. And I'm liking it.
9. I'm going to get flames on my car.
10. And my bro is going to help me clean it out.
11. I'm going garage saleing.
That's good things. To even things out a bit my bad list goes as so.
1. I'm sunburnt.
2. I have to work again tomorrow.
3. I can't do both things tomorrow evening.
4. Judo is just about over.
5. I'm going to turn 20 this summer.
6. I'm working this summer well Meg goes to Malaysia.
7. I spent a lot of money today.
8. My future is undecided. And I don't know what I want.
So, before I get myself off my high, I'm going to quit with this list and sign out.

I have thrice had people tell me they don't recognize me when I'm not wearing my gi. Should I take this as a compliment?