Who am I? how do I express that? How can I let you know? I`m so much more then my blue-jeans, sneakers, and t-shirt. So much for then the way I observe you from underneath my layered bangs. More then my hazel-brown eyes, even, or the shape of my lips.
Aren`t you more then what you first seem to be?
I can`t explain myself to you. If you want to know me you`ll have to try. You`ll have to care. Ask me, talk to me, get to know me. It`s a long process, I know. It`ll have to be. Everytime you learn something it`ll open up ten more possibilities. You`ll have to watch me react a thousand times before you can even consider predicting. But the discovery can be fun.
Won`t it be that way with you?
I`m interesting too. Aren`t we all? don`t we all have different experiances, something new to teach, if we`re open to learning? I want to live your story as well. If you`ll let me. There`s something about me. Start with that.

I went skating by myself last night. I needed it. Yet at the same time I felt discouraged, lonely, and nostalgic. I like feeling stuff. And I loved it. The cold wind in my face. I forgot the feeling of spinning on skates. The rush of pushing yourself across the surface with your own power. If I closed my eyes, or squinted at least, I could pretend I was on a pond back home. I wanted a stick, and a puck, and an opposing team. I revelled in being on my own and then desperately wanted my family and friends.
I lay down in the snow. And watched the tiny needle flakes flying past the flood lights about my head. It was time to go home. Singing the whole way to my mp3. Just because that's what I wanted to do.

It is so bloody cold out there. I walk two blocks to work and I can hardly move when I get in. Apparently it got to -39 with the windchill. O.k. That`s cold. I don`t know how dairy farmers here keep on working through that.
Enough complaining? Life is exciting. I`m done at Cegep for the week. This makes me glad. And I`m getting a schedule at Golden Valley. Which also makes me glad.
I get to meet my billet family tonight. Hmmm. Thom won`t tell me anything about who they are except for that I`ll really like where I`m going. He won`t even tell me why he apparently knows this. And Cass apparently told him to send me there. So we`ll see. Updates will be forthcoming.
Meanwhile, group life is fun. Group life is always fun. It`s been a good couple weeks, actually. I think we`re moving on. Which is good.

I`m in the middle of making bread. Guess what. I`m like the bread guru of the house because I`ve made three good batches. I`m actually the only one in the house that`s made much so far. This week I`m house manager. So it`s actually my job this time. I`m thinking it`s about time I screwed a batch up so that people stop counting on me so much.
Listening to beachboys over our cheap speakers. They`re singing about Kokomo, and I`m in Val d`Or. Which is good enough. It really is good enough.
This week was pretty much the first week where we had much conflict of any kind. But we also had the rest of the cluster in our house for four days. And, comparatively, I think we`re still doing pretty good. In some ways my group didn`t get the coolest participants. Especially guywise. But we also haven`t got a single cti, which isn`t bad. Since I bet some of the other participants will be kicked out by the end of trimester.
I talked to my family yesterday. It seemed like a long time since I`d called. Mostly because it was. It was good.
And now, I have to check my bread. And help explain to Jess that there`s no way she saw a cockroach in the house.