Wednesday, December 30, 2009

I have had a poor history with New Years resolutions.  Not so much that I make them and then don't keep them.  If I make them I usually aim low enough that there's a pretty good chance they'll get accomplished.  It's more of a hit and miss thing.  I've made them a handful of times.  But I usually don't make a point of keeping track of them.
Last year I was in Tel Aviv.  I was in the middle of accomplishing one of my life goals anyway.  They don't really celebrate the new year in Israel, so the whole thing was a little anti climatic.  Playing on jungle gyms on the beach we went by Megan's watch before yelling our welcome to the Mediterranean waves. 
Tel Aviv was not the high point of the trip.
I've yelled it from the top of trees and in Qc living rooms surrounded by strangers.  This upcoming year will enter in a much more typical manner.  I will be with friends in my hometown.  I'll attend a family potluck the next day.  I may go snowboarding.  I may or may not end up with resolutions.  This year I'm leaning towards disdaining them.  As always, I'll look back on the year past.  In this case, 2009.  And ahead.  2010.
So, let's get a head start.  This last year held a lot, and nothing.  Years are long like that.  Shortly after that Tel Aviv moment I ended up volunteering in the Israeli desert.  Something about the calm and my bitterness resulted in joy.  The desert promotes crazy reactions like that.  Refreshed, we headed to India and onwards.  The beautiful exoticness.  What heartbreaking poverty.  What fun Asian moments.  My trip became what it was supposed to be.  An adventure packed contact with culture.  Finally I acknowledged I was ready to come home.  The time was right. 
I anticipated a slump.  Non-clinical Depression, of a sort.  A week after the gruelling journey I found myself lying on an ironing board behind a tractor picking asparagus.  So redneck, so stunning, so tedious.  On my family formed crew the half a season I was around for wasn't too long.
Cousins, summer, swimming.  There are posts where this is evidenced.  I was happy.  I was excited for what was next.
Summer can't last forever.  This is where the nothing starts.
The slump came as my plans failed.  As I moved my things into the room with the pool table and the t.v.  As I packed apples, and then wished I was still working at that fruitstand.  Sadly, posts record this too.
Christmas a brief reprieve.  Serving, partially, to remind me I'm still here.  Seven months later.  Is this not reason to feel down?
And ahead...  2010.  I have no idea.  I am pessimistic and negative about it, though.  Perhaps a few resolutions wouldn't hurt.  I am driving south for the upcoming month.  Sped, a friend you haven't heard about for a long time, has agreed that I could come visit.  I love the Pacific coast, and hopefully this will be my route back. 
So, maybe I should resolve to put something in place when I get back.  It's been a decent year, even if I've stalled.  Let's hope to move forward in 2010.

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