Monday, November 15, 2010

The Biggest Role Boobs Will Ever Play on My Blog

I want feedback.  I specifically want feedback from my male readers out there.  I'm sure you guys exist.  Even if I never do post boobs for real (sorry for the tease).  But I have a very specific question.

First of all, I've never watched Jersey Shore.  Not even a little piece of a little clip of the show.  But the general impression I've formed about the show made me think it would fit this post well.  Here's what confuses me.  I know girls who channel Jersey Shore with all their might.  You know.  Pale lipstick, excessive eyeliner, trashy hair extensions, that disturbing orange hue, single line eyebrows.  That kissy face.  I wish I was rude gutsy enough to snag some of their ten million pictures off Facebook and show them to you.  But I'm not, so these shots of Jersey Shore are gonna have to do because, frankly, it's pretty much the same thing.
So, the thing is, I've never heard a guy say they like that crap.  As a girl I honestly think it's a little disturbing (and I feel the same way about the fake orange males wearing Ed Hardy and trucker hats).  It's trashy.  Period.  So, guys tell me they like girls who act like ladies.  They say they like girls who can rock the natural look.  They say all sorts of stuff, and then chase after girls who leave the house looking like, well...  Check attached images.  Then...  then they get all over these girls like their the hottest things their poor horny selves have seen all year.  I've seen it, and I know you have too.  

I have three theories.

1.  Boys are shallow.  They think they like genuine girls because they like the idea of a genuine girl.  They also don't quite understand how much of the Jersey chicks are fake.  

2.  They actually like genuine girls.  However, the thing is that genuine girls take a little more work.  The Jersey chicks are easy.  What other kinda girl would put this out there?  And, really, why go hard when you can go easy?

3.  The Jersey chicks just know how to play they guys.  They know when to smile, when to flash boob. And, oh yeah, they know how to flirt.  Flirt like you'll get somewhere.  They know how to make any boy feel like he really matters.  Like sex is the biggest objective in their life.  And, yeah.  It probably is.

So tell me, guys.  Why does this work on you?  And girls, do you get it?  Or are you a little bit Jersey yourself (in which case I do apologize).

Don't be surprised if this post only survives a week or two.  I doubt I'm brave enough to risk the Jersey chicks in my life eventually stumbling across it.

15 comments:

Allison said...

I agree with your 100% about how genuine girls take more work!

I touch on some of these things in my "Hot Girls" post - but yeah - it's frustrating when they say they like no makeup and the girl next girl look, but take home these girls who are good to go and probably have STDs.

Anonymous said...

As a genuinely upright female with a more than natural look, I choose to believe the apples-at-the-top-of-the-tree-are-the-best theory. But yes, the bruised ones on the ground are a lot easier to 'pick up'.

philmin9 said...

As a male, and now a reader and follower of your blog, let me impart some male knowledge here.
1. We are not shallow. There, I said it.
2. We do like genuine girls. I'm dating one right now. She's a great girl, I really like her, and she likes to hike in the woods, not hike up her skirt.
3.You are completely right with 3. But it isn't just that they know how to flirt. When I go out, girls like this AGGRESSIVELY flirt, while the girls who you would take home to Mom sip on the drinks and comment about how skanky they look. THey're right, they are skanky. BUt since you never come up to us, or even try to talk, most men assume that this is the only girl interested in them at that particular bar.
4. Here is my point. I think what we can all learn from your post is that a bar is a terrible place to pick up girls. You don't want to go home with a Jersey Shore girl, no one does. But I'm dating a Jersey girl, and she is te farthest thing from the caricatures that populate that show.
Great post

Denise said...

"Why go hard when you can go easy?" BAM! You figured it out.

Dating isn't always about love for a guy, neither is sex. If they were looking for those things I doubt they'd frequent the same spots the JS girls do, so... they say one thing, and bone another. No shame in that game, when they are serious they'll stop looking in all the wrong places. Guys know what's up; they have just gotten away with acting stupid for some time now.

Riley Carson said...

I don't know about this. I've seen so many "Jersey Girls" get turned into the 3AM booty call and they never get taken seriously. When they WANT to actually have someone's attention for a long-term thing, they can't be taken seriously.

There were days I wish I could have been flirty like them, but as a grown up? It doesn't work.

Those girls haven't really grown up.

Tabs A. Geek said...

I tried to be one of those girls once. Not to that extent, but same idea. I thought my worth was measured by the guys that wanted me. and sure, guys came flocking out of the wood work.

I was pursued and chased after.

And then I was used, abused, and kicked to the curb.

A lot of the guys who go for those girls are looking for the easy. That's probably why I got kicked to the curb, I flirted the flirt, but I couldn't bring myself to do the dirt.

Okay. Enough rhyming. But anyways.

There are a lot of guys out there who go for the booty call because it will get them the action. But talk to most of them, and they'll tell you they'd never take her home to their mothers. At least, that's what I've encountered.

Kris said...

I'm really sorry I left my comment replies 'till now! Each of them was... too good.

Seriously. Insightful :)

I know it's not worth it. It's just really frustrating to watch guys be all, "Yeah! I like real girls!" And then see the attention the Jersey Shore types get. That's all.

Rider said...

You write that there are two kinds of women: "Jersey chicks" and "genuine girls." You complain because guys say they want "genuine girls" but take home "Jersey chicks." You wonder why guys do that.

Here's why. The men you write about want you, Kris. You're a "genuine girl," and they know it. So they tell you what you want to hear. They tell you they want a "lady."

But you won't go home with them. So they find a woman who will, a "Jersey chick."

Kris said...

You reply like you might think you know me. Do you?

Thanks for your input. I'll file the answer as under theories 1. and 2. (assuming you're male. Haha) That's what's frustrating. That they'll say what they think we want to get what they want the easy way.

The trade wouldn't not be worth it. Giving it out is certainly not worth the "attention". Just welcome to the Jersey chicks. Just that me and my estrogen don't get it.

Again. Thanks for your comment :)

Angel1649 said...

So I've been questioning this exact thing for ages. Never be afraid to speak out about this!!! I'm going to follow your lead and blog about just this tonight. Thanks and I'll be sure to link yours when I'm finished...totally have missed your blog by the way :D glad to be back to view it like a stalker ;)

Kris said...

Yay! You're awesome. I'll totally be reading your take on this!

PS, you haven't missed much. By blog has been pretty infrequent garbage lately :)

Supergreensunbear said...

I'd go with the answer being pretty much entwined into into 1)

Shallow men like shallow women who like shallow men. Like children they fill the void they have with feeling desired even though its unlikely to lead to anything more than an unexpected pregnancy.

At least this seems true in my part of the world. I would guess most folks who end up in a lasting relationship probably meet somewhere it's possible to talk, listen and respond rather than in a bar with heavy baselines. Not that heading to the bar is in anyway bad and some might hold that magical someone but clubs and the bars market heavily to this demographic of shallow people and so that's why the odds on meeting shallow people like it rises in such a place.

Sorry I should maybe say I wasn't tempted here by the word 'boobs'... honest... well just a little, hrrm. It's just bad timing is all, I found your blog through Angela's almostincoherentrambling as she left a link on her page :)

Rider said...

No, Chris, I don't know you IRL. Yes, I'm a guy.

Kris said...

Well then, thanks again :)

Anonymous said...

Good Article