Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Bitter New Year To You

(dinudey1985)

New Years isn't something that was ever tradition when I was growing up.  I remember bitterly spending it with my family.  Or, even more bitterly yelling it in with our lamps defiantly on and my sister's wrist watch reminding us the rest of the world was partying.  Once we avoided a party because the adults were going to have one upstairs, and us kids were going to party in the basement.  Family first.  I was bitter about that, too.

As I got older we spent New Years eve playing pool in our church basement or watching the ball drop in New York through my Grandma's television.  One of the more memorable was being at the top of a pine tree.  My sister and cousins perched on branches below me.  Driving around town and trying to set off car alarms.  I was bitter then, as well.  My friend group had intentionally uninvited me.  Or fighting on an Israeli beach at midnight in a country that doesn't really acknowledge the holiday.  Or getting slurpees on a volunteer program that required us back by midnight.

I've kicked off too many of my years bitter and lost.  My toughest break-up happened on a New Years day.  Despite all this I still anticipate the holiday with a sort of respectful admiration.  Maybe I have a little glimmer of optimism that insists on the possibility of fresh starts, dynamic celebration and successful resolutions.

Or maybe I'm just a fool.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I can't recall ever having a New Year's that wasn't tainted by something.

Not being allowed to go out, not being able to (whether work, injury or whatnot), spending the night with people whispering about me and pointing fingers; feeling as if I had a scarlett letter taped to my shirt.

This year, I'll probably be sleeping.

Kris said...

Ugh. Way to make me feel better about my history of New Years. Hopefully a poor start doesn't mean a poor year, for both of us!

Allison said...

There's too much build up. That's the problem! Everyone's so jet set on having the best New Years ever it always ends up disappointing.

I've had such a rough week I'm considering backing out on my plans and staying in.

Unknown said...

Kris, I've been trying to look at the upcoming new year with optimism. It's been a doozy of a year in 2010 and I feel like I finally deserve a good one. So if nothing else, my wish is for everyone to have a better 2011 than 2010. It's pretty simple, I guess. And after the next few weeks, if you hear a knock at your door, it's me. My year didn't go as well as planned and I needed to head to Canada after all.

Kris said...

Alright! you may have to ask directions or you're a pretty awesome stalker.

The build up is probably a bad thing. Funny, though. It always seems like everyone else has a blast...

I think everyone I've run into lately is ready for a new start. I'm with you. Hope this is a good one!