Saturday, July 10, 2010
Redneck Style: A Guide
The secret is to stick to key pieces. The essential will always be the ribbed tank top. The effect is most effective when it's too tight. They can be stocked up at Wal-Mart for three bucks a piece. Logos and racer-backs are encouraged. For full effect please be sure that lacy bra straps are visible at all times.
If the brush is too thick, or the weather too chilly for this option ripped jeans are fine. Also, we really do wear plaid shirts. We like that the top four buttons can be left undone. Print hoodies are a good functional option as well. Don't forget that these can be tied, or slung. Sweats or pj pants can be worn out shopping, or for 7/11 runs. These, however, should be paired with low-cut tops and preferable should state "cutie," or similar sentiment across the butt.
Don't forget to accessorize! Let's start with shoes. Yes, we believe in heels! These should mostly be worn during the day. Say, when on a trip to the hardware store. For bush parties, brand runners are much more practical. Uggs are also good in winter. You'll look pretty lame when, well trying to climb into the back of a lifted pickup to make-out, you slip on a patch of ice with your stilettos.
Jewelery is over rated. Except piercings. Belly button studs are hot, and you should have at least three or four piercings in each ear. The best way to go, however, is tattoos. There's not really such a thing is too many. Favourite spots should include ankles, upper breasts, and the ever popular tramp stamp.
As you can see, dressing like a redneck has more to do with mindset then anything else. With a little practice you'll be ready to take on the next bush party or mountain camping trip. Don't worry about being over the top. Just follow the simple tips above and you'll be ready to go.
Disclaimer: Even though I used we and us throughout this post I can say, err, most of it doesn't apply to me.
Also, what I learned from this post... I can't spell accessorize, jewelery or stiletto...
Photo sources: Teethlikeswords, xxtwilightbellaxx, and chell-o on Deviant Art