Friday, March 26, 2010

Don't let denotation fool you into believing it didn't matter.  I am a girl.  Believe that too.  It mattered.
I told you, screaming it subtly.  A million messages everyday.  A hundred thousand ways to let you know, bar one.  The one where I look you in the eyes and say something, out loud, in words you'll understand.
Why won't I?  It changes everything, and yet means nothing.  I cry for honesty and communication.  The kind, apparently, where you react the way I'm asking for to things I won't say.
So, yes.  It mattered.  But don't worry, please.  I'll consider it alone.  My pen moving across paper, today a jagged dance.  An angry slash as you sit there.  Maybe you'll learn as I fall asleep.  You, peacefully elsewhere as my fists clench beneath the sheets.
There will be a next time, this time.  I'll learn not to confuse strength with frustration.  Or you'll learn to know.  For now I'll leave it here in words I don't say.

1 comment:

Holly Renee said...

I really like this post. "My pen moving across paper, today a jagged dance." That was my favorite line.