Wednesday, March 31, 2010

I do not look like my Mother.
I don't act like her, talk like her or dream like her. 
I certainly don't live like her.
We don't share.  Anything.
In trying not to be like her the only thing I do is fight like her.
And this is a problem.
But don't tell me I look like my Mother.  I look like her sister, or any one of my Father's.
Just not her.


Ella Unread said...

Oh, five seconds after reading something similar (and even after posting something even more similar) I find out I'm not the only one who gets worried about becoming my mother...:(

Mel said...

Oh my goodness, Kris. I could have written this. It's almost spooky.

"The only thing I do is fight like her."

I've spent my entire adult life struggling to be the opposite of my mother. And, for the most part, I've succeeded. It's only when I'm mad, or I feel like I'm not getting my own way, that I see her in myself, and it bloody terrifies me.

Thanks for the post. I love your writing.

Holly Renee said...

I remember having the thought in high school, "Oh my god, I could turn out exactly like my mom if I am not careful." Sure, she has some good qualities but I hate being likened to her. Beautiful poem!

Kris said...

Thanks all! I really appreciate the comments. I thought twice about posting since I half expected people to be like, OMG, she hates her Mom! Which, of course, is not true...
So, yeah.

Nitin said...

hhaha.. hope your mom doesn't read this. or may be i should leak this one out to her.. >:-) buhahahah.. i am evol!!!

Magpie said...

I hate it when people say to me "you can't hate her - she's your mom", as if that cancels out every bit of bad behaviour on her part.

It doesn't.

I try to be the complete opposite. I think I almost am. I don't even fight like her at all.

When I'm grown-up and happy I'll know for certain I'm nothing like her.

Joy DeTete said...

I'm a lot like my mom.. My dad on the other hand..

I really love your writing, it's so honest and inspiring!

rebecca joy said...

first of all, i TOTALLY identify with this post. beautiful.

secondly, i stumbled across this passage from a book called Reviving Ophelia just this morning and your post reminded me of it.

"Growing up requires adolescent girls to reject the person with whom they are most closely identified. Daughters are socialized have a tremendous fear of becoming like their mothers. There is no greater insult for most women than to say, 'You are just like your mother.' And yet to hate one's mother is to hate oneself." (p. 103)

something (unsavory) to chew on.

Kris said...

Thanks Rebecca. That is certainly interesting. I have been mildly surprised at the female commenters who identify.
Magpie. I hear you. I am well aware that there are some Mother's who have actually failed. I'm not sure about your case, but they certainly exist.
Nitan. Haha. Fortunently, you won't be able to.