Today I miss Silent Arrow. I miss almost everything about it. Dancing with poi in the courtyard, walking into Mitzpe to bring back grocery staples and asking for two reciepts in my best Hebrew. Laughing at absolutely everything all the time. I miss talking to Ori late at night and having him think I was insightful, despite his superior mastery of my language. I miss lighting the candles or stealing Sason's mp3 and listening to his techno because we didn't have other music. I miss the hand drums and the guitar.
I've talked about the desert before. There's something about the silent sky, the blazing stars, the eternal aridness that calms this mountain girl. Silent arrow is where I learned this. I'm not sure why this is so, or why I'd never learned it earlier in Mexico. Perhaps I never needed it before. Maybe it was being abandoned when I was vulnerable. I miss sitting over the crater talking to Sason all night about our futures because we knew we'd never talk again. I miss the stoners and the wanderers and being on my own.
If you ever make it to Mitzpe Ramon say hello for me.
I miss feeling like I could be gone forever, or as long as I needed to be. I miss walking barefoot over sun warmed stones. I miss chopping crates for firewood and stoking the fire late at night when I should've been curled up beneath my hippi blanket. I miss doing the dishes because my best friend cooked us dinner. I miss endless cups of desert tea and I miss arak mixed with grapefruit juice. I miss smoking sheesha with the kids who drove down on weekends.
I miss the freedom and knowing everything would be alright.
All photos through Hetzbasheket on Facebook