Sunday, October 31, 2010

A Halloween Wedding, Asian Justin Bieber and a White Belly Dancer.

Most of last week I was thinking to myself, "I should really do one of those trendy 'last minute costume option' posts."  I love dressing up.  Unfortunately, I also kinda suck at it.  I'm far too last minute and lacking in basic creativity.  So, lucky for you, I refrained.

I did work today.  One of my co-workers came in with her entire wedding (three family members, in costume), post wedding.  They got married in the park on Halloween.  Her dress was exactly like the picture at right, only purple instead of silver.  Her husband was rigged out in top-hat, bungee boots, leather pants and one exceptional coat and tails.

unorthodox, to say the most.  And I was thrilled for them.  It's so them, and they should tie the knot exactly the way they want.

Later I heard a little about a juvenile party my littl brother and his cohorts are throwing in a pasture.  It sounds like a lot of trouble.  What else is Halloween for?  I was cracking up as I was told about the little Asian kid dressing up like Justin Beiber.   My older brother gave me a play on how he was standing in front of the mirror trying to make himself white.  And turning out like Barbie.  Ah well, it's only a short step from there to Beiber.

And my Halloween hasn't even started.  Now I'm off to break out my Aladdin pants, scarves and eyeliner.  It's gonna be a good Halloween.  Hope yours, by time you read this, was appropriately creepy. 

Tuesday, October 26, 2010


I've always said I don't get depressed.  I've always stuck by this statement pretty well.  I do, however, get pissed off.  Seems like this time of year I end up frustrated at almost everything.  It's like I'm  suddenly realizing that summer was far too carefree.  And that somewhere, in the suntanned bliss of eternal youth, I turned yet another year older.

I wish it didn't happen.  I get to thinking about where I am, what I'm doing, and who exactly that makes me.  Very very dangerous questions.  Especially when you don't have good answers.  And dammit, I do not have good answers.

I like to redirect my energy.  I love skating hard and scoring goals.  I like getting slammed into the mats by kids with brown belts.  I like pretending the little things I've accomplished matter.

I love arguing.  Always have, always will.  It's a skill I've honed until I'm pretty good at it.  Which is too bad, because that's not a beneficial thing.  Especially when I don't have anyone to argue about anything worthwhile with.

Either that or I employ frighteningly brilliant avoidance tactics.  The fact that I have no television doesn't even help that much.  I'm just that good.

And I don't get Seasonal Effective Disorder.  Yeah.  Right.

Sunday, October 24, 2010


Today I miss Silent Arrow. I miss almost everything about it. Dancing with poi in the courtyard, walking into Mitzpe to bring back grocery staples and asking for two reciepts in my best Hebrew. Laughing at absolutely everything all the time. I miss talking to Ori late at night and having him think I was insightful, despite his superior mastery of my language. I miss lighting the candles or stealing Sason's mp3 and listening to his techno because we didn't have other music. I miss the hand drums and the guitar.

I've talked about the desert before.  There's something about the silent sky, the blazing stars, the eternal aridness that calms this mountain girl. Silent arrow is where I learned this.  I'm not sure why this is so, or why I'd never learned it earlier in Mexico.  Perhaps I never needed it before.  Maybe it was being abandoned when I was vulnerable.  I miss sitting over the crater talking to Sason all night about our futures because we knew we'd never talk again.  I miss the stoners and the wanderers and being on my own.  

If you ever make it to Mitzpe Ramon say hello for me.

I miss feeling like I could be gone forever, or as long as I needed to be.  I miss walking barefoot over sun warmed stones.  I miss chopping crates for firewood and stoking the fire late at night when I should've been curled up beneath my hippi blanket.  I miss doing the dishes because my best friend cooked us dinner.  I miss endless cups of desert tea and I miss arak mixed with grapefruit juice.  I miss smoking sheesha with the kids who drove down on weekends.  

I miss the freedom and knowing everything would be alright.

All photos through Hetzbasheket on Facebook

Friday, October 22, 2010

Well, now. Buenos Dias.


Left to my own schedule I stay up later and get up later until I'm frightfully near nocturnal. Fortunately life requires me to stay on a slightly more realistic time frameI'm really not a morning person, and I never will be.  Maybe this is partly because I've always refused to embrace caffeine.

I have learned to detest the sound of an alarm clock more then almost anything else. Bed suddenly seems the best place in the world. I will gladly hate morning song birds.  And don't get me started on those cheerful people happily belting out their "good morning"s. 

Once I'm up and about, though, freshly showered and munching on toast and homemade jam it begins to seem as though anything else would be just a waste of time. 

Morning is the most productive part of just about any day. At least if I manage to rub the sand out of my eyes.  It's a great time for thoughts, and also the best in which to spot a sunrise.  Funny how that works.  I like watching the world coming alive.  I'll never actually manage to regularly get out of bed early for a morning run or even a cup of tea on the back deck. I'll just have to take the moments between the snooze button and my true day's beginning to gather my wits and warm up to the day.

I also might want to work on heading to bed a bit earlier.  Something that is easy to avoid until the alarm goes off and I consider the benefits all over again.

Of course, the fact that I'm posting this at 1:00 AM might be an indicator to how that would actually go.

I have to thank Riley for causing me to post this.  She's written out a highly effective blog review for me which has resulted in the subscribe button and About page now on my blog.  I will be working on implementing a few other changes over the next little while.

I've been known to recommend her blog before, which is a really good read.  But now I'm also going to recommend her reviews.  Well worth it if you're actually serious about improving your blog. 

Friday, October 15, 2010

It Ain't Just an Excuse

I like being busy.  The ironic bit is that I'm not good at motivating my free time.  I need to find something that will push me, that I can get involved in.

I like talking about deadlines.  It makes me feel important.  I like having to reference my schedule.  What it comes down to, I think, is that I enjoy being productive.  I thrive of knowing I'm getting things done (and maybe a little bit of stress).  And keeping busy allows me to forget that I'm staying in one place.  I like forgetting stuff sometimes.

But if left to my own devices I'll sleep in 'till ten and stay up to late.  I'll get distracted by Youtube, novels, and my guitar.  When I get frustrated with my wasted time I'll go for a pathetic run and maybe check my mail and pay my bills.

And I hate that.  Procrastination is my worst trait.

I like when writing and a cup of tea is time to unwind instead of it being something I've accomplished.

Yeah, I was a bit of a burnout when I didn't know what I was doing, and it didn't work to go anywhere.  If I don't work, I'll go crazy.  And I know it.

So, I've packed up my schedule.  And it's doing me good.  Do you secretly like being busy?

Thursday, October 14, 2010

More Blogging BS

Here's the thing.  I get paid to blog, now.  Seriously, I do.  Not much.  Like, I'm not professional or anything.  But I get paid to blog.

Unfortunately it's just not here.

So, the job blog is actually not too exciting.  It's not quite as creative and fun as one.  So, as you can see, I'm still completely into Because or Why Not.  It's the blog I really care about, even if it doesn't make me any money.

Just, you know.  Bear in mind that I'm force posting every weekday.  It's a little tiring, and everything.

Wednesday, October 06, 2010


I mismatched my hair elastics sometimes just to piss you off .  Because you needed to lighten up and learn that red and orange on my braids was fun.  Sometimes I pretended I didn't care, and you didn't call my bluff.  Sometimes I held your hand in the backseat and decided to think that no one noticed.

Sometimes I told people it was nothing.  I told them what I couldn't stand so they would believe me.  I told myself it wouldn't happen, and wasn't happening, and would never happen.

Sometimes I got tired of being the strong one.

You let me cut your hair, and wore the shirts I got you.  I looked in your eyes.  That was my mistake.  Your eyes, your phone voice, your endless adoration.

Oh, did I say endless?  My mistake.  Oh, no, wait.  Yours.

Monday, October 04, 2010

A Blog Rant About Blogging (and awards. See how that works?).

"Actually, don't be surprised if I blog more, and better quality."

Nobody thought it prudent to call my bluff?

Maybe the blogging honeymoon is over.  Mostly, I have other preoccupations.  Really boring ones that provide pretty lousy blog fodder.  I still love my Because or Why Not, though.  It just takes a lot of work and focus to write truly quality posts.  

Blogging has brought great things into my life.  Ideas, distraction, people, a really great creative outlet.  I'm not about to give that up.

You know what I haven't done for a while?  Just had a good rant.  And now I'm ranting about blogging.  Classy.  

Here's a new one!  It comes from a fabulous blog Called The Far Too Important Blog.  Best off all, Jeff gave me "art."  Which makes it my best award ever (of course I had to go post that on my crappiest least-artistic post of the year).  Also got an award from another really good blog called Pretend You Don't Read Me.  How do they come up with such great names?  It's an award I've posted a few times already though, so I'll just tell you to go visit Ella.  She's very cool.

As usual, three blogs in my reader along these lines that I also recommend...

The Wayfaring Stranger- Sometimes Riley's attitude pisses me off, and best of all she really doesn't care.  I'd never say that to her face, because she makes it clear she could kick my butt.  Anyway, she writes a good social commentary blog from a point of view that's occasionally different then mine.  And she's inspiring through her go-getter attitude.  What's not to like?

The Curiosities of a College Kid-  I've always liked this guy, even though we've never spoken.  He's often amusing, but clearly intelligent.  Also, he provides some good insight seeing that he's in Senegal right now.

You Can Read Me Anything- I have loved Rish's blog for a long time now.  She is of substance herself, and that doesn't stop occasional raw heartfelt honesty combined with brilliant writing skills.  She's quite simply a passionate person and that comes across in her posts.  Do yourself a favour and go scan through what she's written.

Seriously though, they're all good.  And now, well, I'll have to connive some decent posting myself so the top of my page isn't a blog rant/award post.  It'll happen.