Friday, April 02, 2010

Today I want to apologize.  I try to be honest with you here, so today I want to be honest about this.  It's remarkably hard to write, but important.  Don't judge me here and I'll return the favour.
"Dammit," you're thinking, "another religious nutcase."  I know most of my readers don't believe like I do.  I don't often talk so upfront about it, but allow me this.  Don't leave yet.  Give me a chance to say sorry.  I am.
I'm sorry for hurting you in the name of Christianity.  For using it to grab power.  For burnings, crusades, selling indulgances and witch hunts.  I'm sorry for the missionaries that tormented South Americans and for residential schools.  For televangelists, superchurches, and that they steal from far to many Grandmas.  I'm sorry in fifth grade some pastor's kid thought he was better then you.  He wasn't.  Niether am I.  I regret to admit that church and state are often not seperate, and that our religeous leaders too often are neither religeous nor good leaders.  I'm sorry that children starve well we drive jacked up trucks and take resort vacations.  I hate it as much as you do, and I hate that I'm associated with it.
But I have to personally apologize as well.  I'm sorry for times I've acted like a hypocrite.  For not loving everyone like I should.  For the people I've wrongfully hurt, the ones I've hated, and the ones I've dominated.  There's the lessons you've watched me learn.  There will be more.  I'm sorry for my pride.
I am not naively innocent.  My experiences have led me to believe that two thousand years ago Jesus died because he was who he said he was.  That I won't apologize for.  If I believe it I have to act on it.  If it's true it's the most important part of life.
So please forgive me.  I hope the true beauty of Christ reflects in me at least a little bit.  I hope this won't change things.  I still like you.  I'm just trying to tell the truth here.
That is all.


Nitin said...

now , that is christ like. happy easter. or did i miss it???

Anthony said...

No need to apologize for something you didn't do. Just keep doing your own thing.

Christy said...

This is beautiful. Have a wonderful Easter.

I LOVE the way you write.

Kris said...

Thanks Nitin. Easter is this weekend. I guess it's not a Hindu holiday :).
Tony, somebody should apologize. Thanks, though.
Christy, you're pretty swell yourself. Happy Easter back!

rebecca joy said...

i love this post. i think your apologies are heartfelt and the world needs them! the church is carrying millennia of burdens and if we are to claim his name now, we need to do it in the truest spirit we know how. it's clear you've done that here.

ah, good friday.

The Analyst said...

Love this post, heartfelt emotions there and btw happy easter

Joy DeTete said...

You are brave to take that responsibility. But it is unnecessary. Don't linger on the past, God doesn't (once you ask him). Have a blessed Easter weekend!

Kris said...

Thank-you Rebecca.
Besdies your thoughtful comment, You're my twentyith follower. :)
And Analyst and Joy, thanks for your comments as well.
Happy Easter to you all!

Ella Unread said...

Well, I'm sorry too, if that's of any value. I think I understand how you felt when you wrote the post and maybe if we all were like you the world would be a different place. It is beautifully written and the best thing is it comes from your heart. Happy Easter :)

Angel1649 said...

Thank's not often I find someone who understands religion for what it is. Reading your blog post made my day, and I hope one day, when you need it, mine could do the same :)