Tuesday, May 18, 2004

I just want to be done with school. I have resigned myself to not "officially graduating", but I suspect I have a good grasp on a fair number of subjects. I also suspect I have been changed back into a pure homeschooler. One of the kind who just wants to learn. The kind, maybe, who's right, can reach the stars, if they really wanted to, and the kind who won't put up with any (dare I say it?) crap from the system. And No. Not that I support homeschooling stereotypes that say Moms wear denim jumpers and kids do rod and staff (which I loathed with a passion). I do, however, tend to support any generalization (I like that word, so much softer then stereotype) that says homeschoolers are more unique, unbiased in their opinions, have a stronger sense of morals, and know how to learn or work hard. Remember people, generalization.
Having said that, there's still a secret want inside which proclaims...I wish I'd taken, just maybe one year, of highschool. Or, to go the very opposite, graduated with them. So what if I couldn't think for myself, I'd be "normal", "accepted", and "qualified". But we'll pretend I didn't say that. Because I wouldn't really do it different. Just think, there would go my grade eleven adventure over North America.
June is like a magic month now. Finished with chemistry, finished with report writing, and not having this English provincial hanging over my head. Don't get me wrong, I love English. Report writing, well, it's something I had to learn. Chemistry, I started taking it to get my "grade eleven credit". But it's been very good for me. Bit of structure and discipline. And now I know an acceptable amount of science (my percentage is in the nineties). And know what else? I didn't hate it. But I want to have it done with. Just because I need to get on with life. I'm just tired of being expected to show-up every Tuesday with my homework done. And I want to be absolutely finished with handing in reports to the school.
Yes, I'm learning, and here's the assignments I forced myself to do in order to prove it.
Oh, I'll still read rabidly. I'll still do all my p.e. requirements and maybe even solve the rare math question for the cold hard challenge of it. Heck I'll probably take on something completely new. But school, I'll be able to say I've completed twelve years of education. Get off my back.
And one more thing, I loved highschool. Hate to leave it behind. Suffered mid-teen-crisis. Like learning and living and not needing to pay my own way. But I know I need to move one. So now it's just like I'm waiting.
Remember, I'm the girl who hates set-hard change.

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